Just living my life, and making it work!

Archive for May, 2013

10 Things My Dad Taught Me

My father was that parent who was always passing out words of wisdom. He would weave little PSA type lectures into our everyday conversations that would rival any after school special. Truthfully my dad was the most honest person I know. He had integrity running out of his ears, and I’d like to think he passed that down to me. Here are just a few of the things he taught me that I plan on passing down to my children. In no particular order.

1) Don’t ever lie. Either it will catch up to you in the end or worse…people won’t believe you when it counts.

2) Whatever you are doing give it your best effort for you never know who is watching or where it may lead.

3) Technical knowledge and industriousness far outweigh a lack of natural talent.

4) Proper planning prevents piss poor performance.

5) God first, family second, and your country third.

6) Vote & pay attention. Civil liberties are never taken away in a drastic all-at-once manner. Instead, they are whittled away a little bit at a time, and there is always a ” good reason”. After all Nazi Germany didn’t happen over night.

7) You can never truly get away with something. You can hide it from your parents or your spouse, but God is always watching. Furthermore, every wrong decision has a consequence be it right then or down the road…there’s a consequence.

8) Be careful of the company you keep. People who are doing bad things don’t like doing them alone. They will always pressure you into doing what they’re doing. They will continue until you give in because deep down they know they’re wrong, and people doing right make them feel bad.

9) No one ever says I want to be a teen mom, alcoholic or IV drug user when they grow up. Conversely adults who are single mothers, alcoholics, or drug addicts never expected it to happen to them the first time thy had unprotected sex, drank, or tried a drug.

10) Children get a little more independent, and out of your control each day. You can put them on the right path, and give them the tools to keep them there, but you cannot make them stay.

I miss you dad.

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10 Things My Mom Taught Me About Boys.

In honor of Mother’s Day I decided to make a list of the things I learned from my mom about boys that I intend to share with my daughters one day.

* Boys are like dogs. Once they pee on a tree they don’t want any other dogs to pee on that tree. This is regardless of weather or not they ever plan on peeing on that tree again.

* Boys may like to run around with fast girls, but they won’t bring one home to their mothers.

* Don’t automatically believe a boy when he tells you how he feels about you. Make him show you.

* if a boy hits you or treats you badly he will do it again.

* Choose your dates wisely as you never know which first date will turn into a marriage.

* if a boy will cheat on his girlfriend with you he’ll cheat on you in the future.

* A boy will not change no matter how much you love them. If they don’t absolutely adore you for who you are and vice versa it is time to move on.

* An aspirin held firmly between the knees is the best form of birth control.

* Be careful who you give your body to as you will leave part of your heart with them. If you get pregnant you will be FOREVER tied with that boy no matter how big of a jerk you think he is later.

* Marriage and parenting are difficult on their own under the best of circumstances. Be careful about adding drama by dating outside your faith.

Some of these things I had to learn for myself through many tears and heart break. Some thankfully I took her word on. But, no matter what temporary high or low I was going through because of a boy my mom was always ready to talk me through it. She stayed up, and we would talk after every date. I hope I can shepherd my girls ( and boys) through the tumultuous “practice” years that we call high school.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Mommy Fail

Yesterday we went shopping at a department store. While I was browsing my seven year old daughter was dancing in a mirror a few feet away. I hear her excitedly say to a young woman “Do you have a baby growing in your tummy? Are you pregnant?” The woman shyly said “No”. Before I could get to her my very confused and innocent daughter followed up with ” We’ll if there’s no baby in there why is your belly so big?” Before the woman had a chance to answer I grabbed my child, apologized, and quickly walked in the other direction. I leaned down and whispered to her that it was impolite to talk about other people’s bodies, and how they look, because it may hurt their feelings. She was still expecting an answer to her question so I explained that when people eat too much sometimes food, and don’t get enough exercise they build up extra fat under their skin. This answer seemed acceptable to her, and the conversation was dropped.

I walked away feeling pleased with how I handled the situation. After all I was direct, and matter of fact. I had not used derogatory terms or put a judgment on the woman. I always have had body image issues, and I was determined not to pass them down to my children. We talk about being healthy or unhealthy, and the terms fat or skinny are not used in my house. We talk about how God makes each of us differently be it hair color/texture , eyes, skin color or body type. I thought I was doing a bang up job when it came to this issue.

After retelling this story to a friend I came to the realization that my actions had unintentionally taught her more than my words. By whisking her away like I did, and admonishing her against talking to people about their bodies I implied that the woman had something to be ashamed of. I projected my own uncomfortableness with my body onto this stranger. I assumed that she would be embarrassed about her body. It never occurred to me that she may have been a young confident woman who had made her lifestyle choices, and was perfectly happy with the way she looked. I never gave her a chance to answer for herself. Soooo even though I didn’t come right out and say ” we do not talk to fat people about being fat because it is something they should be embarrassed about. Being fat is shameful so you better take care to never get fat.” We all know kids pay more attention to our actions than our words. Huge Mommy Fail!!!